The movie was shown at the Rehoboth film fest and all the principle actors plus the director was in attendance. John re-cut the film yet again for this showing and it is my favorite cut yet. The audience of about seventy people seemed to enjoy it as well. Some of Tolias music was incorporated in this go round. John and I got into a drunken quarrel at the party after the show. I am sure it was started by me. I want to stop being angry with him for being unable to connect. I want to do away with hard feelings.
In other news I am having a breakdown of sorts which I do not find interesting. It is the reason I have written very little in these notes. I call it a breakdown of sorts because it is more like a balancing act between well and unwell. I am struggling to realize my vision of a life in art outside of the spotlight or rather I am struggling to realize I have a life in art outside the spotlight. That art has a life in me. I think I began this project of ((newstereo)) out of fear. And I have noticed that the further I get from KITUS the sadder and angrier I become. The whole thing feels very generic and smacks of regret which I think is for the birds. How can I come to truly appreciate this chance to be here working? How can I keep the faith that life and purpose are one and the same?
The other reason I have not written much in these notes is that I have put this blog in a big old box marked MUSIC RELATED. With ((newstereo)) isn’t it all music related? Isn’t life the production? Are these not working songs?
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newstereo))
